How do you thank someone that has changed your life??

I'm not even sure where to begin with this post... I'm feeling this overwhelming feeling of gratitude and love for my midwife Kelli Johnson. I photographed Nandi and Jason's birth with her on Saturday and Sunday and it brought back all of the reasons why I chose her to deliver our baby girl here at home. She is truly one of the kindest, most loving, and nurturing women I have ever met. She believes in you and your dreams when you can't believe in yourself, she picks you up when you fall, and all the while has this smile that just sets you at ease. All it takes is one look from her, or simply her entering the room and all is okay.

I remember when I was looking for a midwife while pregnant. I never even considered going to an OB, I just knew I wanted a midwife. At that point I was thinking a birth center. I met with several in the area, the one I really liked was too far from home, so I decided to consider a homebirth and knew Kelli would be my first choice. I had been to a birth that Kelli attended about a year prior to that, and was so impressed with her and loved her right from the start. So I just knew that she would be a good fit before we even had our formal appointment with her. John was a little leary at first, but our first visit with Kelli left him confident that it was the right decision, he bonded with her immediately and had no reservations about our choice in a care provider. I remember feeling elated after our meeting with her when he agreed to move forward in the homebirthing direction. I just felt it my heart it would be perfect!!

Every prenatal visit was like going to see a friend. I never felt rushed, never felt like I was just another client, we would often talk for an hour or more. We went to her home, where it is peaceful and one of the most beautiful pieces of property I have ever seen. Certainly a change for me from my first pregnancy where I sat in a cold and uncomfortable waiting room with numerous other women, sometimes waiting an hour or more for my turn to be seen. I loved that my oldest daughter could take part in all of the appointments. She got to help with the blood pressure, and the doppler. I was so glad that she was able to be fully immersed in the experience as well, and I think it helped her to bond with her sister so quickly, knowing that she was a part of it all.

I remember when she arrived for our birth, I was in the tub in our bathroom. Until that point I had been nervous, tense, and just feeling overwhelmed. Literally the moment she walked into the room it was like a huge weight came off, like I was able to just be in the moment, to go with it, and to let go of my fears and hesitations. I put my faith and trust in her completely that she would take care of me and my baby to assure that she came into the world in the most peaceful, safe, and loving way. My birth experience was something that I will truly never forget... it's something that has forever changed me as a woman, as a mother, and it stays with me now when I attend the births of others.

At Bodhi's birth this weekend it brought all of my feelings for Kelli back to the surface. She truly is a warrior of birth, protecting women and their babies from the traumas that birth can sometimes bring. This weekend just only reinforced what I already knew... that she is meant to be delivering babies, that it is her calling and gift to this world and the women that are lucky enough to have her care for them. Nandi and Jason had a hard birth, first babies usually take their sweet time. Not once did you see anything other than peace on Kelli's face. She was there with them, in the moment, giving all of her energy and love to them, to the process, and to their baby boy. After Bodhi was born, one by one, each of us that was there went to Kelli for a hug... and as soon as she hugged us each of us broke down into sobs of tears. It's like with her hugs she gives you the internal signal to just let it go... to let all of the emotion just spill out. She is so strong in labor that she keeps everyone else strong too, and when it's all over and everyone has a chance to breathe and really take in what's happened, she is there again to comfort you and to let go of all the tension and savor the moment.

Again I can't begin to even figure out a way to say thank you to Kelli who has cared for me, loved me, loved my husband, daughter and baby girl. It's so hard to find the words to say thank you for something that special. I mean how often does someone come along and change your life in that way? How often does someone show you the power within yourself to believe and know in your heart that you have made the right choices for your baby? How often does someone just come along and make you a better person and a better mom just for knowing them? I think back about my birth and am so proud, so happy, and so content with how it all turned out. I couldn't have dreamed of having the experience the way we did, and feeling like it was so complete and so "right". I know I have the best midwife, who has taken my fears and shown me how to get through them, who has showed me the other side of birth, and how to trust myself!

To Kelli: You have changed my life and the lives of countless others. Those of us who are lucky enough to have you in their lives know exactly how I feel. It's something most unspoken and unsaid, but definitely felt in the heart. There are no words strong enough that can express the depth of our gratitude and admiration. We love you!!!

I have attached some of my favorite photos from our birth, and from Nandi's to show Kelli doing what she does best. She is truly an amazing beautiful soul with a huge heart for her pregnant mamas and their families! If you've had the pleasure of having Kelli attend your birth, please add your comments!!

A thank you to Margie Schulz for her amazing captures of our birth (she also took some of the ones of Nandi and Jason as well!).

First heart tones check when she arrived at our house...

Supporting me as I relax in the big tub.

Maggie and Kelli doing counter pressure on my back. That is some serious teamwork!

Our baby girl, being safely brought into this world with her help.

Big sister Shaylee helping Kelli get her new baby sister all bundled up. Yesterday she told me she wants to be "Miss Kelli" when she grows up. Kelli made quite an impression on her too eh? LOL!

The patient watcher and keeper of good loving energy!

She has to get her own photos too...

Hip counter pressure, she has the strongest arms of anyone I know!
She has the stamina of a LION!

Margie captured this... I love this moment, hopefully
I comforted her in the ways she has always done for me...

I turned around and saw her doing this and knew I just HAD to get a
photo. Her poor back was hurting, so she was doing this to straighten it out.
Crazy strength she has!

Just love that calm and peaceful smile...

Getting the supplies ready... she's always prepared!

My favorite shot of her ever I think... all 3 of them just have this peace about them.
Like they know something amazing is about to happen!

HA! Made ya look!

Just a beautiful moment during a normal birth!!

Heart tones on baby...

One of my favorites of Jason... he just lost it as soon as Kelli hugged him.
I don't think there was a dry eye in the room at that point!